We've got grieving all wrong

I was planning on writing a snappy little blog post about fitness, but the truth is, this is what has been going on for me lately - so I'm laying it all out in the open for you all to see. After all - that's why I started this blog - to create a space for me to share HONESTLY. So here goes...

I realised something recently. I've been grieving. No one died, but I'm still grieving. I'm grieving the loss of a vision I had for my life that I have come to the realisation I will never have. I had distracted myself with being busy for a long while, but it has all of a sudden hit me, that the life and career that I had in my head as one day being an option, is not feasible, realistic or possible. And that hurt. A LOT. This leads me to my next realisation...

We SUCK at grieving. Mainly because we think its all about physical death. And while death is about the end of something, it's NOT necessarily about a physical person no longer with us. In fact I think we automatically associate grieving with someone dying, which is why we don't want to look at it, or think about it. And then when we do lose someone we love, we are ill-equipped to handle it. Because we haven't practised the process of grieving.

And it is a process, which we should be practising. Its purpose is for us to learn how to FEEL all the feelings associated with loss. I've really needed to take time out, and process my sadness around not being able to have the career and life I had envisioned since I was a little girl. I really held onto the dream for a while, and am only now waking up to the fact that I can't hold onto it anymore.

Reality is it's not serving me. Me keeping my hands clenched trying to hold onto that dream is what is actually preventing me from being able to grasp something new and amazing that will enhance my life in so many ways.

You may think this sounds trivial and self indulgent, but you'd be wrong. This process has taught me a lot about how I process grief. So that the next time I am unfortunately faced with a bereavement (because nothing and no one lives forever), I can know that I've faced this grieving process before and survived, and while this may be more painful that what I've faced previously, I will survive it too.

My days of owning a convertible and driving off into the sunset are looooong gone...

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